Today when I was walking my dog shortly before midnight, I noticed the sky was a really cool purple color on the horizon, and just stopped for a few minutes to stare at it. It was one of those things a camera couldn't catch, just looked amazing the way the lights in the distance were reflecting off the clouds, moonlight and icy ground from the rain all day today. I couldn't figure out what it was, but just stood and looked at it for a few minutes and told myself it must have been the solar flares everyone is talking about- how cool is it I got to see it?
After coming inside and reading about the flares online, I realized it wasn't likely I had seen them according to what the fancy scientists were saying. Then I realized I actually saw the lights from the nearby police station a mile away, where I work everyday (well, 6 days out of the week anyway- see what I mean about doing too much not being enough?) without realizing it. That made me wonder, how is it possible that I see something everyday, but never noticed it before now?
Although obviously the bright lights would appear much different at work, I walk my dog every day, often at night. I had to have seen that cool light pattern many, many times before, but I was never really noticing it. Then I thought about all the things I do everyday without being there (such as, walking my dog) and wondered what else I'm missing out on?
From now on, even when doing the most menial things, I'm going to try to be for that moment, and look out for other cool sights I've missed. I'm so excited about the possibilities in front of me.
Monday, January 23, 2012
I rush and rush until life's no fun...
The thing that always confused me about Bucket Lists (which seem to be really popular ever since that movie came out, however long ago) is the whole concept behind them really, is a bit morbid. Why do or accomplish things out of fear you'll die before doing them- why not just live for the moment?
To me, there is a difference between living for the moment and in the moment. Living for the moment means working, planning, or striving to accomplish or do, whereas living in the moment means only paying attention to the hear and now, all the time. The fact that I don't want to focus on knocking things off a list before I die doesn't mean I don't have goals- there are many, many things I want to experience in life, not just things I want to do and check off a list. There are also many things I don't want to experience any further, as I've come to realize, part of being is letting go.
Having had cancer at age 21 and rapidly approaching the 5 year mark (meaning, I'm cured, at least in the eyes of insurance rates!) I myself wondering what did I do with those 5 years- what experiences did I have that made them count? I'm not saying the last 5 years was all downs and no ups- but that I spent way too much time doing something to get somewhere else. For example, finishing college early to get to graduate school, going to graduate school to get a job, working overtime to get a license, getting a license in hopes of getting a different job- too much doing, not enough being. I was given an incredible gift of getting off easy in terms of cancer, so why am I not enjoying the time I do have here more?
I'm not really sure what led me to this realization tonight- but it's a concept I really want to run with, and I think a concept I've been looking for without realizing it. So from here on out, I'm going to live for the moment, and write about it here.
To me, there is a difference between living for the moment and in the moment. Living for the moment means working, planning, or striving to accomplish or do, whereas living in the moment means only paying attention to the hear and now, all the time. The fact that I don't want to focus on knocking things off a list before I die doesn't mean I don't have goals- there are many, many things I want to experience in life, not just things I want to do and check off a list. There are also many things I don't want to experience any further, as I've come to realize, part of being is letting go.
Having had cancer at age 21 and rapidly approaching the 5 year mark (meaning, I'm cured, at least in the eyes of insurance rates!) I myself wondering what did I do with those 5 years- what experiences did I have that made them count? I'm not saying the last 5 years was all downs and no ups- but that I spent way too much time doing something to get somewhere else. For example, finishing college early to get to graduate school, going to graduate school to get a job, working overtime to get a license, getting a license in hopes of getting a different job- too much doing, not enough being. I was given an incredible gift of getting off easy in terms of cancer, so why am I not enjoying the time I do have here more?
I'm not really sure what led me to this realization tonight- but it's a concept I really want to run with, and I think a concept I've been looking for without realizing it. So from here on out, I'm going to live for the moment, and write about it here.
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